Moments Of Hope
Looking at him go....staring at the empty spaces only he could see.
What is he looking at i thought, what could he be seeing?
Where has his mind gone to? I would have given all to be there for him.
Seeing him go right there was not an option but there i stood helpless and confused.
My mind stagnant, heart only praying for his survival, hoping and wishing he will get pass through this.
"It is a trial", i said 2 myself, as if talking 2 someone specifically.
His name racing through my head of how i could tell his family he's about to go.
No tell them to say their goodbye as he is about to go.
That thought scares me the most and distrupts my already balanced equation.
Nurses and a doctor where on him, trying all possible best resuscitative measures.
Not that it was a first, seeing a dear fade away as the clock ticks, but it came too soon.
I am not ready for a last office and that is the part of the job i never liked, that part that makes me want to quit.
Seeing him dwell deeply, gasping for air, eyes closing by bit...body cold and feet pluffy,
I could sense the surrendered feeling in me.
And with a last attempt, a last measure was resorted and he came back the way he wanted leaving.
Outburst of emotions as our lips all called to God, praised and thanked him for his infinite mercy.
Seconds were too soon to describe...his body started to call for home, searching for comfort in the pain he alone was feeling.
Giving up wasn't an option, not after the taste of joy we experienced.
And the all merciful gave him yet another chance to survive the hard turmoil of time.
To undergo yet another trial in his book of test.
His calling isn't due as of now, maybe later in life, he still has some unsettled issues with the world and the Creator knows best.
He knows what is best for him...living or death.
I smiled as i saw the look of relief and gratefulness on the faces of those that cared.
I could feel him pulsate even as he was still in pain.
And satusfied we were, i don't want that gratefulness to fade away.
Mr advisor said, "let me tell you this, make all patients that come in and go your family, your brothers, mothers, fathers and your sisters,
It won't take a thing from you, that is what i have been doing all this while, all these years.
Besides, it is their money that the government are paying us,
We are just privileged to be here not because we are better than them, but it is jst a privilege".
And right there i knew he was right...
It was a calling not because God loves us more, nor because we are perfect or the best,
But because it is a trial we have to undergo.
Thank you Lord for the gift of life, for the gift of time, for the gift of health.
Thank you Lord for the gift of love and happiness.
Thank you Lord for all in all.
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